I wish I never did.
Our relationship was one of those where promises were said and you?re left alone thinking, maybe he?s not a bad guy after all. Maybe he?ll treat me a whole lot different.
Boy was I so wrong. Dead wrong.
At first, things were going wonderful. Everything seems so alive and lively. Everyday we?re learning new things about each other; accepting each others faults and mistakes. It started of great, if not perfect. I was feeling a little bit concern for me, since I?m usually the one who falls in love so easily.
I knew I should have caught myself.
Then out of nowhere, things weren?t the same anymore. He would suddenly became so distant, that it made me wonder what could I ever done wrong that he started to drift away. I wanted to know where I am in his life.
Never ask a guy where you stand in his life, especially when things aren?t going smoothly. He said he hasn?t thought about it since there are a lot of things going on in his life. That that?s the last thing he wanted to deal with at that time.
Ouch that hurts!
It was then that I decided to get out, since you know I don?t know where to put myself in that relationship. But when I said I wanted out, he didn?t want me to go.
I should have known better.
He wanted me back, so I went back. It was all so sweet all over again, eventually the same old thing happened again. What hurts the most was when he told me that he was never in love with me and that he was in love with someone else.
Now everything just made sense.
Evidently he broke my heart into million pieces. I never thought he was capable of hurting me this much. The most painful love is the love that never was. I don?t want to push myself to him no matter how much I love him. It wouldn?t be a healthy move for me. So now I?m left alone thinking how and when I can let go of what I feel for him. It may take sometime but, I?m willing to move on.
It?s better to have love than not to love at all.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they?ll love you back. Don?t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if doesn?t, be content that it grew in yours.