When the mind is silent, the heart speaks.
I am still sitting on this rock, enjoying the soothing tranquility of nature. The only sound I hear is that of the smooth river current finding its way in between rocks. The river and I... just us. I am starting to believe that this is much better.
Him? He is behind that closed door, but he is very much alive in my heart. Yes, I really love him so much. I realized it now, in the midst of this solitude. The lesser I rationalize the occurrences, the clearer my emotions become.
The deafening silence that is prevailing between us right now is something I cherish. I am happy just having him in my thoughts, the way I like it: his quirks, antics and being an airhead which cracks a smile on my lips every time I remember his lines.
I am happy with him dwelling only in my memory. Reminiscing the colorful past, the simple things we talked about and his boldness in standing by his principles at all cost (which I secretly admired a lot), especially when we play devil’s advocate to each other... Our repartees were something I missed. Repartees are healthy and entertaining; arguments are draining. I’ve had enough of the latter, that’s why I went away before I completely lose my respect for him and my self-respect.
I always value a peaceful and happy life and I am more than willing to give up any relationship in exchange for these. After all, I believe that love can only spring in a garden full of peace and happiness.
Anyway, I am happy living my life of single blessedness. I have a work that I love which keeps me preoccupied 24/7, if I want to. I find fulfillment in involving myself in a couple of socio-civic organizations which I founded. I am gifted with friends, family and people who made life worth living. I am happy this way and the way that My God loves and cares for me. I have a beautiful life to live, the kind of life that I’ve been living even before I met him.
I am happy now.
Yet, I think, I will be happier if he comes and sit beside me on this rock and once again, we will both play with the water... and...