This Too, Shall Pass

Her fingers kept on brushing through the long strands of my hair...

"Life can be tough sometimes... I understand what you are going through, but you’ll get over it and say: this too, shall pass."

Sweetly, she uttered those comforting words as my tears kept pouring like heavy rains in June.

That was my first heartbreak. I had several relationships, but I think, I fell in love only once. He was simple, kind and loving. I gave up so many dreams just to be with him. Ours started as casual that bloomed to a serious informal engagement but unfortunately broken by culture and tradition. We both tried our best to hold on, but fate did not permit. We have to let go.

Devastated, the first action I did was to hide in my shell. I didn’t want to see anybody and I didn’t want them to see me, either. Like a turtle, I hid and found solace in the warmth of my carapace.

It was 2 a.m. I entered my bedroom, kept the lights off, guided to my bed by the twinkling Christmas lights of my neighbors. My water bed, which normally gives me comfort and coolness, had lost its splendor. I was sweating profusely... even the air conditioner did not help at all. I tried closing my eyes to get some sleep, but my mind was awake. My heart wanted to explode... thoughts, memories flooded my mind!

I stood up, rushed out of my apartment and ran a few miles...

The doorstep still looked the same as when I was a young woman playing with our dog, Babu. Three pairs of slippers neatly arranged at the left side of the doormat with the faded word "Welcome." Oh! Welcome, for the first time, I felt the real meaning of that word. I rang the bell... once, twice, it’s 3:30am. I kept on trying. Finally, she opened the door. A surprised look in her face greeted me and without saying a word she gave me the most comforting hug I have ever received from her.

Tears kept on streaming down my face as she walked me to her bedroom. She gave me my two favorite pillows and started rubbing my back. Those gentle caresses choke off the pain stuck in my throat and I let out a sob. The sobbing just went on and on... until it turned to a loud cry. Worried but calm, she sat on the bed, gently lifted my head, put it on her lap and started brushing her fingers through my long tresses.

That was a long time ago, but her words still reverberate in my mind: "This too, shall pass."

It did. Now, I feel luckier, happier and blessed as I see a clearer, brighter and better future ahead of me. Now, I am ready to fall in love again. Empowered and strengthened by her undying love, I have the courage to fall in love over and again.

Thanks Mom, for your unparalleled love.

Happy Mother's Day!

Inside Joko Jun

Joko Jun features Filipinos from around the world... musicians, writers, photographers, and other creative people.