My Pandora's Box

Ever since I was a little girl, I've kept my silence. My mom will always fight my own battles for me as she knows how I am (mother knows best). I let people walk all over me and in the end, just cry on to my mom's shoulders and just have her fight my battles for me.

Seven years ago, I still am the same person that I was, but, after moving here, I realize that if I don't stand up for my rights and my beliefs, I will be eaten alive. Truth be told when I say that I have learned how to fight my own battles. Eventually a reversal role took place. I've fought my mom's battles for her. I can see myself transform, from the timid, shy girl that I was once, to a feisty, outspoken woman that I am now.

Perhaps it is the liberated world that I live in. The western way of living. The cool mountain breeze here that molded me. But most of all, I think it's all of life lesson's that I have endured. The people whom I met (the good, bad and the ugly); those who have wronged me; those who brought out the best in me, that made me the way I am.

I don't need to recount what I have endured this past few years. But I felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode and one false move, will set me off. Thus the-ever-famous LETTER. I 'm not much of a confrontation person as I can express myself more freely through writing.

I have sent the letter to voice out my feelings. It seems as if the feelings I've kept hidden in me (only my mom and I knew how long I've kept it inside) is voicing out their own opinion, wanting to be heard. I ended my silence. Let out the hurt inside. 7 years worth of hurt that I have brushed aside.

I expected as much, knowing how they are already (after being with them for the last 20 or so years) but I wasn't prepared for this. The accusations thrown at my face. Them pointing fingers at me, not once thinking of the faults that they too have done. No one is pointing fingers at anyone. That wasn't my intention. But I guess when your intentions are pure and true, some think that you are pointing fingers. Unfortunately, no amount of sugar can coat the bitterness of the truth.

Apologies are not in order. I didn't point fingers at anyone. I just let the truth out. And if you can't accept the truth, fine by me. You, like me are entitled to your own opinion. I'm just a little voice, wanting to be heard. I am not a pretentious person, pretending everything is okay, I am no saint to say that I don't make mistakes. The mistakes I've had committed in the past made me stronger, wiser and I guess made me the outspoken person that I am, and if you can't accept that, can't handle that, I can't do much about it. I am, like everyone else, an imperfect person living in this imperfect world.

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