The real descent into ecstasy and pain, I can signify only by love, the purest expression of it. But in someways the love-hate undergone by me, was a fuller image because it integrates the “real and unreal.” Life-flow and death – flow, in single act. The act is emotional. I am never overt about it, whether in my fantasies and consciousness. But I have in mind what it takes to be essential figure of those mysteries behind such torment.